Lynne Hollingsworth

The Cat on the Fence

I’m the cat on the fence
who wonders which way to go?
I’m the cat on the fence.
People are calling from both sides.
I’m the cat on the fence.
I’m just trying to be me.
I’m the cat on the fence
who observes everything…
I’m the cat on the fence
who just wants somewhere to fit.
I’m the cat on the fence
who is stuck on the fence and can’t come down.
I’m the cat on the fence.
I’m just trying to be the person I was meant to be.
I’m the cat on the fence
who wonders who sees me?
I’m the cat on the fence.
Why do people walk past and stare?
I’m the cat on the fence.
Who really cares?
I’m the cat on the fence.
Mum tries to change me and grow me up.
I’m the cat on the fence
who just wants to be seen for who I am!
I’m the cat on the fence
who wore a scuba divers outfit as a mask for twenty-odd years.
I’m the cat on the fence
who has never fitted in the boxes.
I’m the cat on the fence
who tries to please everyone by mimicking others behaviour.
I’m the cat on the fence
why can’t someone understand?
I’m the cat on the fence
and this is how I’ve been for a very long time!
I’m the cat on the fence
and this is where I will always be as I don’t belong anywhere.

— Lynne Hollingsworth

Artist Notes:

I’m near 30, I was diagnosed with other difficulties but my ASD wasn’t picked up until August 13. In this time I’ve had a lot to think about and learn. I work as a midday supervisor for an autistic unit and help run a Rainbows unit [Girl Guides] both of which I love. 


This piece is important to me as I wrote it during a period of burnout after being diagnosed, it explains my analogy of being different and wearing a mask to hide behind. It helps me to understand where I have always been and I expect other readers will understand in some way, especially if they were diagnosed later on in life.